!!!...Aaaanother Year...!!!

Yes it is.
Happy new Year.
Tata! dear old Year.

Aaaaanother awesome year in the insignificant carbon based complexly intelligent low energy system. Like and unlike the previous years in many ways. I just figured out that I like typing small unrelated and self contained sentences. oooooooh! Many things learned and unlearned this decade/10. Don't know why but feeling really awesome right now (A sense of achievement maybe.) Another great year it was. Yes it was. Many promises kept, many resolutions broken. (I feel like I can't just keep writing my little sentences). Yes!
Ooooh, I just want to write, and write, and write on ,and on, and on. I learned so much this year that I feel like a quark in the nucleus of an atom(Si) of a grain of sand on an endless beach (Courtesy : Einstein (i think)), which has just been rocked by the waves of the vast ocean. I feel light(as in weightless, and illuminated). By the way, much to learn. A new thing that I discovered about myself is that... (words!!!) ...I have a great affinity to new things(as in everything new, especially Ideas), and I am bad at letting go, which has led to an unstable framework of my mind, which is highly dynamic, much like DID, which in turn makes me highly random and unpredictable for even myself, and I feel like its not just me ( I know, I know you too right?).  But anyways, we are we, and we much accept it if we want to go on with it, or to change. Enaaaaff!!! right!...

So Happy New Year... to anyone who is reading this... I wish you everything that somebody can wish for you to have another awesome year. And from me it will be... umm... May you be open-minded!... Mente Aperta!!! (ya...twist your wrist backward twice before casting the spell, and tap your wand upwards when you say the words). Its a tough spell, I am trying to master it myself (reached lvl 28...max lvl 81). May

GOD(yes!) bless you.

..V, Peace ,V..
I can be such a dumbass.
 _______________________________________________________
PS : Judge me by my size, do you?
_______________________________________________________

/*Life is always simple, if you get going complex, you definitely are not living*/
/*Just see how patterns emerge from total chaos*/
/*enjoy, if you like maths or even drawing*/

#include <stdio.h>



main()

{

float x0, e, r, r1=3.987;

int i, T, n, M=100;

printf("Please enter the value of r(2,4] : ");

scanf("%f",&r);
     
    printf("Please enter the number of time steps : ");

scanf("%d",&T);

float C[T][M];

printf("Please enter the value of x(0) (0,1] : ");

scanf("%f",&x0);

printf("Please enter the value of coupling strength, e : ");

scanf("%f",&e);

C[0][0]=x0;

for (i=1; i<=M-1; ++i)

C[0][i]=r1*C[0][i-1]*(1-C[0][i-1]);

    for (n=1; n<=T-1; ++n)
    {
        C[n][0]= (1-e)*r*C[n-1][0]*(1-C[n-1][0]) + e*(r*C[n-1][M-1]*(1-C[n-1][M-1]) + r*C[n-1][1]*(1-C[n-1][1]))*0.5;
       
        C[n][M-1]= (1-e)*r*C[n-1][M-1]*(1-C[n-1][M-1]) + e*(r*C[n-1][M-2]*(1-C[n-1][M-2]) + r*C[n-1][0]*(1-C[n-1][0]))*0.5;
       
        for(i=1; i<=(M-2); i++)
       
        C[n][i]= (1-e)*r*C[n-1][i]*(1-C[n-1][i]) + e*(r*C[n-1][i-1]*(1-C[n-1][i-1]) + r*C[n-1][i+1]*(1-C[n-1][i+1]))*0.5;
        }
               
FILE *fp;


fp = fopen ("chaos.dat", "w");

int j, k;

for (j=0; j<=T-1; ++j)
{
        fprintf (fp, "\n");
       
        for (k=0; k<=(M-1); ++k)

fprintf (fp, "%f\n", C[j][k]);
    }
   
    fclose(fp);

printf("Now please open Chaos.dat and plot the data in gnuplot using Splot command (Help : google for the command syntax)\n Enjoy the patterns\n");

getch();

}

Dear me,

        Do you remember the time we were energetic, reckless, ignorant, full of inspiration, learning everything at hand and, when we had beliefs in concepts which seem so absurd now. Looking back I can really say that ignorance is a hell of a bliss. We had an awesome friend, whom we used to call God, who always heard everything and replied. We were full of negativity, always expecting the worst, but with a feeling for the other side deep inside, so that anything which happened seemed to be positive. It always cracks a smile on my face when I recall what was my concept of love back then. Love - eternal, True love once and for all. Ha ha, that was awesome, feeling like everybody has someone special for them and looking into their eyes you can spend your whole life, brain jammed on just one thought. It seems cruel to have broken these beautiful illusions.

        AAh, and here now we are watching as the time passes by, protonous, but with a lost feeling of exploration. It seems like we have been somehow converted from an electron, negative, energetic and wild, to a neutron, positive, full of inertia, and stuck in the compactness of neutrality and positivity.

        But still I can see the light on the other end of the tunnel(so positive), and near. I feel like the connection to the reservoir of wisdom is just round the next corner, but what I have learned till now keeps pulling me back, with a fear somewhere deep inside protecting the ignorance left. But at the other hand it embeds a thought that the light ahead may lead me back to the same innocent  child.

        Its been great living life with you.

Your Friend,

C2

Dear subconscience,
          Hi this is your secret admirer conscience. I am a huge fan of yours. You have always helped me secretly, and this letter is just another request for help. I am in much trouble, my thought has become clouded, I don't know what to think about anymore, what to do anymore, why to do anything, and even if I know any of these I can't think of the next step, like here I wasn't able to think of what to write in the previous statement. I think I am rusting. Please help me. Help me get back the same - I can't think for a word for that - like I used to have before this blight. I am totally confused. Please help me see through the mist surrounding me, let me feel the sun once angain, let me fly in the blue sky once again, help me have the same smile once again.
          I have started rehabilitating with classical music doses, all i need is your help.

Your biggest fan ever,
Consci
...................x...............x...................

      I found this letter I wrote sometime back on my timeline. It was one of the greatest phase of confusion of my life, and it ended one fine day with the song 'wake me up when September ends'. It took me a whole month to recover but it was one of the best experience i had ever had after the 'awakening' of 2007.
      Lesson Learnt : Be who you are.

__
Love & Peace
--
C2

...New Year...

Happy New Year dear Blog.
Its 1.1.11, its officially new year and I have decided to readopt you and take better care of yours than the last 5 years. This post has to remain short and sweet so I end it with a promise of writing on later.

Dear reader, Happy New Year to you too. May your new year be full of positives.